Saturday, September 7, 2013
Happy Grandparents' Day!
Tips for Grandparents 1. Enjoy not being in charge. You had your chance to parent and now it is your kids turn. Let them make the rules and decisions -- your job is to enjoy the kids and play with them not to parent them. 2. Don't give advice unless asked. Unwanted advice often sounds like criticism for the person receiving it, don't say "I would. . . ." "With you I always. . . " or other such sentences unless the parents ask for your help. 3. Respect the parents' rules. You may not agree with it, but you have to live with it. Don't break the rules or encourage grandchildren to break their parents' rules. Ask the parent to make an exception is you feel it would be worth it -- and accept their response whatever it is. 4. Respect the parents' values Your child may not agree with you on a certain issue that you find important. They have the right to teach their children their own values and beliefs. Respect their views and don't argue with them in front of the children. 5. Know the schedule and be accommodating to their lives. Your child-free life is probably more flexible than your kids' lives, so be willing to be the one to do extra driving and extra flexible with scheduling. Ask "what works for you?" Guide for Parents working with their Parents, now Grandparents 1. You are the parent - speak up and make your rules, feelings, and expectations clear. You are an adult & its time to have an adult relationship with your parents, this means clear communication about what you want. Talk to your spouse or co-parent first, then inform the grandparents what you decided. 2. Grandparents aren't babysitters unless you have had a discussion and come to an agreement about regular childcare, don't simply assume your parent is going to always be available to care for your child. Your parents have their own lives too. So plan ahead, ask and schedule together. 3. Don't make grandparents compete for the kids children need to know all of their grandparents. Do your best to encourage equal time between the grandparents whether that's face-to-face, phone, mail or skype. 4. Support your spouse Your spouse deserves your first loyalty even if the choice is between them & your parents. Make it clear that you are a team making decisions together & grandparents should respect both parents. 5. Let the grandparents spoil them. your child should know that the rest of the world is not like grandma. But its good for their self-esteem to have the extra doting from grandparents.