I hate moving.
Actually, strike that, I hate the sorting through my junk and realizing just how much I hold onto stuff that I might need someday. Or stuff that would make a great art project when I get time. Or half down projects that hit a snag that I never overcame.
I hate sorting through the physical reminders that I have wasted time, money and effort on things I never finished or used.
I hate admitting that I carry around a lot of stuff that I don't need.
I hate letting go of all this. Even though I feel better when its gone, letting go is very hard.
Its admitting the mistake, looking at it and saying, yes, I won't actually do this. I will never actually make something amazing from the free wood pallets I collected. Or the broken antique chair.
I hate admitting my limitations of time, talent and will.
When not in the process of moving, I can live in some denial.
Moving takes that away. I have to deal with this stuff, and choose to pack it up and physically take those hopes and dreams and denial with me. Or I have to go through the process of letting go.
While its bad enough doing this with objects, its even harder with emotional baggage.
But boy is that even more important.
As all pastors, there are so many things I thought I would do, wanted to do, planned to do.
But I didn't get it done.
There are so many wisps of dreams and ideas and hopes that didn't pan out.
And its hard to let them go. To admit that I couldn't do it all.
But now its time to move on and to let go of the past and all the coulda, woulda, shouldas.
To find forgiveness and move forward into a new day.
A lot lighter.
with a lot less stuff.
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Friday, September 22, 2017
Love & Faith
Wow, its been a long time since I wrote a blog!! Sorry about that!
It has been an fascinating summer and now that Fall is officially here, there's a certain letting go and moving forward with the change of seasons -- although it doesn't feel very autumn-like today.
The sermon this weekend is on Staying in Love with God. It has been hard for me to think about staying love with God without reflecting a lot on my own love life. For when we think about staying in love, its most often our romantic relationships not God that we think about.
So for those of you who may not know, I was dating a nice guy for about a year and a half but then I broke up with him in July. I broke up with him because I loved him very much, but I also knew that he didn't love me. And I realized that, although I kept trying to be patient and wait, his feeling for me weren't growing. So it was time to move on. It was a really, really hard decision, especially because I had assumed for some time that this relationship was leading to marriage and I had grown a deep bond with his children. In some ways this summer was hard, but it was also good because I spent time in August meeting new people. The pain of letting go is necessary in order to embrace a new beginning.
What makes us fall in love? Its a question that I wish I could answer in a book to sell millions of copies : ) Attraction is great, connection necessary, communication essential, common interests and values very helpful. But yet, human hearts don't follow recipes that if you just mix up the right combinations then *poof*an apple pie of love. I wish it were that easy - if it were then eharmony and match.com would have 100% success rates. But they don't because there is so much of our human hearts that is impossible to define, categorize and label. Our childhood relationships, our deepest fears and desires, our struggle between who we think we are and who we think we want to be all factor into how we see our partner and whether we feel love or not.
Faith reminds us that although we may not find the perfect person for romantic love, we are loved and lovable. That we may not be loved by the particular person we want, in the way we want (looking at you Brad Pitt) But we are perfectly loved but the Creator of the Universe. And we do not have to settle for mediocre relationships, or lukewarm love. God created humans for deep love that is passionate, enduring, accepting all the shadows parts of us with gentle care.
If you have found that kind of love, then I am so happy for you. Stay in love, and nurture it for it is so very precious. Relationships have lots of ups and downs. You will not always feel loving toward your lover, but it is worth the work to grow that relationship. Here's a basic article on staying in love
If you are still searching like me, then blessings to you on the journey. It is a difficult road but it is worth the effort. And in the meantime, have fun, love yourself and feel the love of God sustain you. If you need encouragement give me a call!!
It has been an fascinating summer and now that Fall is officially here, there's a certain letting go and moving forward with the change of seasons -- although it doesn't feel very autumn-like today.
The sermon this weekend is on Staying in Love with God. It has been hard for me to think about staying love with God without reflecting a lot on my own love life. For when we think about staying in love, its most often our romantic relationships not God that we think about.
So for those of you who may not know, I was dating a nice guy for about a year and a half but then I broke up with him in July. I broke up with him because I loved him very much, but I also knew that he didn't love me. And I realized that, although I kept trying to be patient and wait, his feeling for me weren't growing. So it was time to move on. It was a really, really hard decision, especially because I had assumed for some time that this relationship was leading to marriage and I had grown a deep bond with his children. In some ways this summer was hard, but it was also good because I spent time in August meeting new people. The pain of letting go is necessary in order to embrace a new beginning.
What makes us fall in love? Its a question that I wish I could answer in a book to sell millions of copies : ) Attraction is great, connection necessary, communication essential, common interests and values very helpful. But yet, human hearts don't follow recipes that if you just mix up the right combinations then *poof*an apple pie of love. I wish it were that easy - if it were then eharmony and match.com would have 100% success rates. But they don't because there is so much of our human hearts that is impossible to define, categorize and label. Our childhood relationships, our deepest fears and desires, our struggle between who we think we are and who we think we want to be all factor into how we see our partner and whether we feel love or not.
Faith reminds us that although we may not find the perfect person for romantic love, we are loved and lovable. That we may not be loved by the particular person we want, in the way we want (looking at you Brad Pitt) But we are perfectly loved but the Creator of the Universe. And we do not have to settle for mediocre relationships, or lukewarm love. God created humans for deep love that is passionate, enduring, accepting all the shadows parts of us with gentle care.
If you have found that kind of love, then I am so happy for you. Stay in love, and nurture it for it is so very precious. Relationships have lots of ups and downs. You will not always feel loving toward your lover, but it is worth the work to grow that relationship. Here's a basic article on staying in love
If you are still searching like me, then blessings to you on the journey. It is a difficult road but it is worth the effort. And in the meantime, have fun, love yourself and feel the love of God sustain you. If you need encouragement give me a call!!
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
The Confederacy doesn't deserve Memorials
This past weekend I preached on the meaning of memorials in our lives and the need to choose wisely what memorials we make in our hearts, our homes and in our communities.
Memorials have 4 functions:
1. Mark time
2. Remember people who have gone before us
3. Remember how God was at work in those persons lives
4. A visual reminder to tell our children the story of our history and values
I talked briefly about one memorial that I am very glad came down. The Battle of Liberty Place monument celebrated the White League that carried out a coup of the state government, attacking the integrated Metropolitan police force and the state's militia that was primarily black. The White League won the battle killing 13 police officers and disarming the state militia. They controlled the state and began to set up an alternate government until President Grant sent federal troops to regain control.
In America, we respect elections. We don't do coups of our state or federal government. We don't celebrate the killing of police officers and we don't set up alternative governments. If we lose an election, we work peaceably with our fellow Americans and try to win the next election. The Battle of Liberty Place monument stood for everything that is anti-American and I am glad it has now been taken down.
Two other monuments were also taken down, one a statue of General Robert E. Lee. Lee led the Confederate army against the United States of America. That is treason. There is a long-standing romancing of Southern history, one that makes the Confederacy seem noble. But there was nothing noble about it - these men committed treason against their country because they wanted the right to keep human beings as slaves. Over time, as public opinion on slavery changed, the reasons for the south succeeding has been cloaked under the words "states rights" and "way of life" referring to "the Cause" rather than slavery specifically. You only have to read the speeches and documents of the leaders of southern succession from that time to get the truth.
In the Cornerstone Speech, C.S. Vice President Alexander Stephens declared that the "cornerstone" of the new government "rests upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery – subordination to the superior race – is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth"
The declaration of succession drafted by the state of South Carolina outlines their "right" to keep slaves and makes clear why at that moment, just after the election of Abraham Lincoln as president, that they were succeeding: "A geographical line has been drawn across the Union, and all the States north of that line have united in the election of a man to the high office of President of the United States, whose opinions and purposes are hostile to slavery. He is to be entrusted with the administration of the common Government, because he has declared that that "Government cannot endure permanently half slave, half free," and that the public mind must rest in the belief that slavery is in the course of ultimate extinction."
It is time that Christians in America (particularly white ones) rise up and declare once and for all that what the south did was morally wrong and anti-Christ. Memorials to any leaders of the Confederacy should be taken down. The memory of the Confederacy should not be sanitized but exposed for what it truly was: a treasonous moral failing of racism and greed. Confederate flags represent treason and the promotion of slavery. The Confederate flag has been used as a terrorist tool to bring fear to African-Americans, it has no place in our society.
Our national memorials should point to the unity of our United States of America and our belief that all are created equal. Our memorials should only lift up our highest ideals of one nation, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Our flags should only be the flag that stand for all of us.
Memorials have 4 functions:
1. Mark time
2. Remember people who have gone before us
3. Remember how God was at work in those persons lives
4. A visual reminder to tell our children the story of our history and values
I talked briefly about one memorial that I am very glad came down. The Battle of Liberty Place monument celebrated the White League that carried out a coup of the state government, attacking the integrated Metropolitan police force and the state's militia that was primarily black. The White League won the battle killing 13 police officers and disarming the state militia. They controlled the state and began to set up an alternate government until President Grant sent federal troops to regain control.
In America, we respect elections. We don't do coups of our state or federal government. We don't celebrate the killing of police officers and we don't set up alternative governments. If we lose an election, we work peaceably with our fellow Americans and try to win the next election. The Battle of Liberty Place monument stood for everything that is anti-American and I am glad it has now been taken down.
Two other monuments were also taken down, one a statue of General Robert E. Lee. Lee led the Confederate army against the United States of America. That is treason. There is a long-standing romancing of Southern history, one that makes the Confederacy seem noble. But there was nothing noble about it - these men committed treason against their country because they wanted the right to keep human beings as slaves. Over time, as public opinion on slavery changed, the reasons for the south succeeding has been cloaked under the words "states rights" and "way of life" referring to "the Cause" rather than slavery specifically. You only have to read the speeches and documents of the leaders of southern succession from that time to get the truth.
In the Cornerstone Speech, C.S. Vice President Alexander Stephens declared that the "cornerstone" of the new government "rests upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery – subordination to the superior race – is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth"
The declaration of succession drafted by the state of South Carolina outlines their "right" to keep slaves and makes clear why at that moment, just after the election of Abraham Lincoln as president, that they were succeeding: "A geographical line has been drawn across the Union, and all the States north of that line have united in the election of a man to the high office of President of the United States, whose opinions and purposes are hostile to slavery. He is to be entrusted with the administration of the common Government, because he has declared that that "Government cannot endure permanently half slave, half free," and that the public mind must rest in the belief that slavery is in the course of ultimate extinction."
It is time that Christians in America (particularly white ones) rise up and declare once and for all that what the south did was morally wrong and anti-Christ. Memorials to any leaders of the Confederacy should be taken down. The memory of the Confederacy should not be sanitized but exposed for what it truly was: a treasonous moral failing of racism and greed. Confederate flags represent treason and the promotion of slavery. The Confederate flag has been used as a terrorist tool to bring fear to African-Americans, it has no place in our society.
Our national memorials should point to the unity of our United States of America and our belief that all are created equal. Our memorials should only lift up our highest ideals of one nation, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Our flags should only be the flag that stand for all of us.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Slow Roll Coming!!
June 28th members of Calvary United Methodist Church are leading a new kind of community bike ride - a Slow Roll. Slow Roll is a bike ride for everyone; all ages, all skill levels and every type of bike is welcome. Starting at the new Calvary Church south of Casey’s in Arnolds Park, it will be a 5 mile ride returning to the church for free sandwiches, drinks, marshmallows and bonfire. Registration is free and begins at 5, ride begins at 6 with drinks and food following the ride. Neighbors are especially welcome to come to get to know each other.
The Slow Roll began with two friends in Detroit who wanted a a casual bike ride that would welcome everyone. Calvary UMC had a youth mission trip to Detroit in 2015 where they met the founders of the Slow Roll and heard about the benefits of the ride.
“We were excited that the ride focuses on community building - getting neighbors to know one another and enjoy some time in the sun together.” states Rev. Dr. Sarah Rohret who was on the mission trip with the youth. “We wanted to bring that community-building opportunity to our area as soon as we had a way to host the event.”
The Slow Roll idea is in its 7th year in Detroit, and has spread across the US to many major cities including Chicago and Minneapolis. The slow pace keeps the group safe and gives riders a unique perspective of their city and its neighborhoods. In 2016, Slow Roll grew to over 12,000 registered riders across the USA and that number continues to increase.
There are many bicycle rides in our area, but none quite like the Slow Roll. Volunteers are welcome to help - contact Calvary UMC 712-332-2447. To register for the event you can go to the Calvary website www.calvarylovesall.com.
Friday, April 14, 2017
The Shack
I loved the movie, The Shack, and here's why.
I love the way Mack "wrestles" with God and is honest in his doubt, anger, guilt and distance from God is honest and real. "In our doubt there is believing" is one of my favorite lines from the Hymn of Promise 707 UMH. Movies that present Christians as so sure of themselves annoy me, because I spend way more time with people who are unsure than people who are arguing for God.
I love the images of God - Papa being a black woman, a Native American man -- coming to Mack in the way Mack needs. There are a hundred different images of God used in the Bible:
Rock, Mother Hen, Mother Eagle, Fountain of Life, Shepherd, Gate, Lion of Judah etc. Some are female images, some are male, some are neither. El Shaddai can be translated "God with breasts".
Jesus says God is spirit in John 4, and we will worship God in spirit. So there is no earthly image that completely captures who God is, God is bigger than any one picture. All of them capture just a piece. So we need all of the images together, and some times one image will speak to us more than another image. Mack had a problem with his abusive father, and the image of God as father was not helpful to him. I totally believe God's love for us would lead God to appear to us as we would best receive God -- male, female, black, white, whatever.
I love the theology of the Shack. There is so much and it is rich and deep and good theology. It centers on the person of the Trinity which I also believe has to be the center of Christian faith. God is love, because God is relationship. God, inside of God's self, is 3-in-1, unity in diversity, in relationship and love. The conversation the Trinity has with Mack in the book explaining that no one has to be in charge is AWESOME. I use it often in Confirmation. I wish that dialogue had been in the movie. Too often Christians have used the world's image of hierarchy to describe God, and to form our church. This gets used in bad ways -- Church people demanding their own way, the church forcing its way, oppression of the poor, of women, of minorities being excused or even promoted. Jesus preached love - for God, neighbor, enemies, everyone.
Many people are critical that God isn't powerful enough, almighty enough, in the movie or book. But this is the God who came as a baby born in a barn to teenage parents. God who chose to die on a cross. God whose main image in the book of Revelation is the slain lamb. God is all powerful, but God doesn't have short man syndrome. God doesn't go around saying "I'm the almighty cower before me". God doesn't want cowering, God wants relationship.
Thats enough for now, I'd love to know what your thoughts/questions were.
I'm thinking this might be a sermon series in June -good or bad idea??
I love the way Mack "wrestles" with God and is honest in his doubt, anger, guilt and distance from God is honest and real. "In our doubt there is believing" is one of my favorite lines from the Hymn of Promise 707 UMH. Movies that present Christians as so sure of themselves annoy me, because I spend way more time with people who are unsure than people who are arguing for God.
I love the images of God - Papa being a black woman, a Native American man -- coming to Mack in the way Mack needs. There are a hundred different images of God used in the Bible:
Rock, Mother Hen, Mother Eagle, Fountain of Life, Shepherd, Gate, Lion of Judah etc. Some are female images, some are male, some are neither. El Shaddai can be translated "God with breasts".
Jesus says God is spirit in John 4, and we will worship God in spirit. So there is no earthly image that completely captures who God is, God is bigger than any one picture. All of them capture just a piece. So we need all of the images together, and some times one image will speak to us more than another image. Mack had a problem with his abusive father, and the image of God as father was not helpful to him. I totally believe God's love for us would lead God to appear to us as we would best receive God -- male, female, black, white, whatever.
I love the theology of the Shack. There is so much and it is rich and deep and good theology. It centers on the person of the Trinity which I also believe has to be the center of Christian faith. God is love, because God is relationship. God, inside of God's self, is 3-in-1, unity in diversity, in relationship and love. The conversation the Trinity has with Mack in the book explaining that no one has to be in charge is AWESOME. I use it often in Confirmation. I wish that dialogue had been in the movie. Too often Christians have used the world's image of hierarchy to describe God, and to form our church. This gets used in bad ways -- Church people demanding their own way, the church forcing its way, oppression of the poor, of women, of minorities being excused or even promoted. Jesus preached love - for God, neighbor, enemies, everyone.
Many people are critical that God isn't powerful enough, almighty enough, in the movie or book. But this is the God who came as a baby born in a barn to teenage parents. God who chose to die on a cross. God whose main image in the book of Revelation is the slain lamb. God is all powerful, but God doesn't have short man syndrome. God doesn't go around saying "I'm the almighty cower before me". God doesn't want cowering, God wants relationship.
Thats enough for now, I'd love to know what your thoughts/questions were.
I'm thinking this might be a sermon series in June -good or bad idea??
Friday, February 24, 2017
Love and Marriage
The most read newspaper article of 2016 was not anything political or about the election,
it was Alain de Botton's NYT article "Why you will marry the wrong person"
Krista Tippett has a discussion wth Alain in this podcast that is brilliant, funny and insightful.
I really encourage everyone in a relationship, or hoping to be in a relationship, to listen and learn.
My cheat sheet of insights:
+ we are all broken, and need to approach the other with that understanding
+ we naturally give children more benefit of the doubt -when one is fussy or says "I hate you", we ask ourselves if they are hungry or tired or had a bad day. We need to approach our partner the same way
+We are all hard to live with (but most of us don't realize it)
+the mundane is the reality of lived love - who cleans the toilet is a service of love
+self-righteousness is an enemy of love.
it was Alain de Botton's NYT article "Why you will marry the wrong person"
Krista Tippett has a discussion wth Alain in this podcast that is brilliant, funny and insightful.
I really encourage everyone in a relationship, or hoping to be in a relationship, to listen and learn.
My cheat sheet of insights:
+ we are all broken, and need to approach the other with that understanding
+ we naturally give children more benefit of the doubt -when one is fussy or says "I hate you", we ask ourselves if they are hungry or tired or had a bad day. We need to approach our partner the same way
+We are all hard to live with (but most of us don't realize it)
+the mundane is the reality of lived love - who cleans the toilet is a service of love
+self-righteousness is an enemy of love.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
What its like to be a pastor
Being a pastor is sometimes extremely lonely.
You are taught in seminary:
Be professional
Don't bring your life into the pulpit (unless its a cute hokey story)
Don't cry
Don't show that you are struggling
Don't ask for help, prayers or support --
Pastors give those things, you don't ask for them.
The congregation needs to know you are strong
That you can be leaned on
That your family is a shining example of perfect love
That you have it all together
That you always know where God is and what God is saying
That you are there for them - the congregation - all the time.
This is what you are taught to believe it means to be a pastor.
You are taught in seminary:
Be professional
Don't bring your life into the pulpit (unless its a cute hokey story)
Don't cry
Don't show that you are struggling
Don't ask for help, prayers or support --
Pastors give those things, you don't ask for them.
The congregation needs to know you are strong
That you can be leaned on
That your family is a shining example of perfect love
That you have it all together
That you always know where God is and what God is saying
That you are there for them - the congregation - all the time.
This is what you are taught to believe it means to be a pastor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)