Saturday, September 7, 2013
Happy Grandparents' Day!
Tips for Grandparents
1. Enjoy not being in charge. You had your chance to parent and now it is your kids turn. Let them make the rules and decisions -- your job is to enjoy the kids and play with them not to parent them.
2. Don't give advice unless asked. Unwanted advice often sounds like criticism for the person receiving it, don't say "I would. . . ." "With you I always. . . " or other such sentences unless the parents ask for your help.
3. Respect the parents' rules. You may not agree with it, but you have to live with it. Don't break the rules or encourage grandchildren to break their parents' rules. Ask the parent to make an exception is you feel it would be worth it -- and accept their response whatever it is.
4. Respect the parents' values Your child may not agree with you on a certain issue that you find important. They have the right to teach their children their own values and beliefs. Respect their views and don't argue with them in front of the children.
5. Know the schedule and be accommodating to their lives. Your child-free life is probably more flexible than your kids' lives, so be willing to be the one to do extra driving and extra flexible with scheduling. Ask "what works for you?"
Guide for Parents working with their Parents, now Grandparents
1. You are the parent - speak up and make your rules, feelings, and expectations clear. You are an adult & its time to have an adult relationship with your parents, this means clear communication about what you want. Talk to your spouse or co-parent first, then inform the grandparents what you decided.
2. Grandparents aren't babysitters unless you have had a discussion and come to an agreement about regular childcare, don't simply assume your parent is going to always be available to care for your child. Your parents have their own lives too. So plan ahead, ask and schedule together.
3. Don't make grandparents compete for the kids children need to know all of their grandparents. Do your best to encourage equal time between the grandparents whether that's face-to-face, phone, mail or skype.
4. Support your spouse Your spouse deserves your first loyalty even if the choice is between them & your parents. Make it clear that you are a team making decisions together & grandparents should respect both parents.
5. Let the grandparents spoil them. your child should know that the rest of the world is not like grandma. But its good for their self-esteem to have the extra doting from grandparents.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Prayer changes Your Brain
This was a great NPR story. Prayer really works - it connects our brains to God and helps us to be better people. You don't have to use special words or have any special abilities to pray. Just spend 5-10 minutes a day in a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. If you have an Upper Room or other devotional you can spend 5 minutes reading the devotion and picking out a thought or phrase that speaks to you. If you don't have a devo then just reflect for a moment on the the verse "Be still and know that I am God". Say it to your self several times taking slow, deep breathes. Praise God, give thanks for all the blessings in your life. Pray for others, where do you want God to be at work in the world around you. Listen. Where can you be a better person? What mistakes have you made? Ask for forgiveness and ask God to help you be better. Keep taking deep breathes. For 2 minutes just pray for peace and joy for the world. . . .for your community. . . . for those you love. . . . for someone you don't like.
Its hard at first, but it does get easier and become more natural.
If you want more help -- call me!!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Godly Parenting
The Influence of Godly Parenting! from David Hobbs, LDM for Camps & Christian Education for the Iowa Annual Conference
Have you ever thought about the influence you have had on others over the years. I am certain if you’re like me, you can think of so many past experiences that have happened through your interaction with others, many good and many not so good. It’s kind of sad, but what seems to resonate to most of us are those times that we didn’t speak as appropriate as we should of, or maybe didn’t take the time for someone else’s needs like we should have. I think it’s easy to pick out these times that we neglected being a positive influence on someone else, but I am certain that each of us can look back and see the joy in those times that someone found some hope and healing through something you went out of your way to do, or say.
As I thought about this it made me think of the observations I’ve had with the youth that I’ve been able to watch over the years through the different ministries I’ve been involved with. It has struck me about how different each youth is, and also how you can see their lives being lived out as they interact with others. Like adults, some are smiling and joy filled and some are uplifting to others, and sometimes a bit more talkative than others. At the same time, some may be more reserved and are learning more about their own selves and how they socialize with others. Neither type of behavior is necessarily good nor bad, it’s most likely just style differences. Maybe what concerns me most are those who through their interactions are critical of others and sometimes seem to never to say a nice thing
http://www.iaumc.org/console/files/oFiles_Library_XZXLCZ/2013July8David_DZP42SQG.pdf
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
beat stress
Stress eating is an emotional response that over time becomes automatic, says Anne Wolf, RD, a registered dietitian and researcher at the University of Virginia School of Medicine. "Every time we engage in a behavior, the more we do it, the more it becomes a pattern, then it becomes a habit," says Wolf. "To tackle that habit you're going to have to learn a new habit.”
So the next time stress threatens to send you to the kitchen or nearest vending machine, fight the urge. "First feel the sensation of stress. Stop, sit down, do some deep breathing, feel it, then just see what happens," says Wolf.
It's important to stop and think about that: Are you actually hungry, or just craving food in response to stress? "What typically will happen is that the feeling will dissipate and then you realize you can let go and you don't feel that hunger any more," says Wolf. This is the pattern you have to follow and repeat until it becomes the new habit.
Stress Eating: Finding Food Alternatives
Managing your stress in healthier ways can also help keep you from responding to it by eating. Try these ideas:
Exercise. Regular exercise can help prevent stress, and exercising when you are stressed can help manage the emotion and burn calories, not pack them in. Instead of running to the kitchen, lace up your shoes and head for a run, or walk, outside.
Give yourself a break. Whatever you're doing that's causing you stress, just step away from it for a while. If you're thinking about a situation that's creating anxiety, distract yourself with a more pleasant topic.
Think positive. Come up with a plan to resolve the situation that's bothering you. Nothing beats stress more than solving the problem that's causing it.
Relax. Meditate, visualize a peaceful place, or listen to some music to calm yourself down.
Do something fun. Take an impromptu shopping trip, play a game of golf or tennis, call a friend, or watch a movie that you enjoy.
It may take some time, but you can retrain yourself to eat when you're hungry, not stressed. Learning to tell the difference between the two is your first step. Then, find another outlet instead of using food to satisfy your emotional hunger.
So the next time stress threatens to send you to the kitchen or nearest vending machine, fight the urge. "First feel the sensation of stress. Stop, sit down, do some deep breathing, feel it, then just see what happens," says Wolf.
It's important to stop and think about that: Are you actually hungry, or just craving food in response to stress? "What typically will happen is that the feeling will dissipate and then you realize you can let go and you don't feel that hunger any more," says Wolf. This is the pattern you have to follow and repeat until it becomes the new habit.
Stress Eating: Finding Food Alternatives
Managing your stress in healthier ways can also help keep you from responding to it by eating. Try these ideas:
Exercise. Regular exercise can help prevent stress, and exercising when you are stressed can help manage the emotion and burn calories, not pack them in. Instead of running to the kitchen, lace up your shoes and head for a run, or walk, outside.
Give yourself a break. Whatever you're doing that's causing you stress, just step away from it for a while. If you're thinking about a situation that's creating anxiety, distract yourself with a more pleasant topic.
Think positive. Come up with a plan to resolve the situation that's bothering you. Nothing beats stress more than solving the problem that's causing it.
Relax. Meditate, visualize a peaceful place, or listen to some music to calm yourself down.
Do something fun. Take an impromptu shopping trip, play a game of golf or tennis, call a friend, or watch a movie that you enjoy.
It may take some time, but you can retrain yourself to eat when you're hungry, not stressed. Learning to tell the difference between the two is your first step. Then, find another outlet instead of using food to satisfy your emotional hunger.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Boost Your Energy
Are You Getting Enough Sleep and Exercise?
Most people need about eight hours of shut-eye each night, and not getting enough sleep can certainly cause fatigue. In addition, a lack of sleep has also been linked to longevity-shortening diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Sleep aids can interfere with sleep by causing "rebound insomnia." That means that, after taking them for a while, you have trouble falling asleep without them. Over-the-counter sleep aids can leave you feeling tired even after you wake up. You should also avoid caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco if you are having trouble sleeping.
Regular exercise fights fatigue and promotes longevity. Here are just a few of the benefits you can enjoy from exercising 30 minutes a day for at least four days a week:
Increased energy
Reduced stress
Reduced risk of premature death
Improved mental health
Reduced risk of heart disease
3 Easy Energy Boosters
Choosing healthy habits over unhealthy ones can help you decrease fatigue and better enjoy your life. Try some of these energy boosters:
Manage stress. Stress is a normal reaction to events that happen in everyone's life, but stress that goes on too long and is not managed properly is bad for your health. Some of the more common signs of stress include fatigue, depression, high blood pressure, trouble sleeping, and a loss or gain in weight. Some healthy habits that help many people manage stress include meditation, yoga, exercise, and social activities.
Get rid of high-sugar foods that overload your digestive system. You can do this by eliminating sugary foods like cookies, candies, and soft drinks. You can also substitute carbohydrates that cause a sugar rush with those that are absorbed more slowly. That means fewer potatoes, white rice, and white bread, and more whole grains, fruits, nuts, and green vegetables.
Schedule regular doctor visits. See your doctor for preventive health check-ups and don't ignore symptoms of fatigue that could be caused by a treatable or preventable disease.
Fatigue could be a warning of something that is making you sick or unhealthy — and ultimately affecting your longevity. In most cases, you can fight fatigue with a healthy diet, regular exercise, a good night's sleep, and stress reduction. But if these energy boosters don't help, talk to your doctor.
Most people need about eight hours of shut-eye each night, and not getting enough sleep can certainly cause fatigue. In addition, a lack of sleep has also been linked to longevity-shortening diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Sleep aids can interfere with sleep by causing "rebound insomnia." That means that, after taking them for a while, you have trouble falling asleep without them. Over-the-counter sleep aids can leave you feeling tired even after you wake up. You should also avoid caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco if you are having trouble sleeping.
Regular exercise fights fatigue and promotes longevity. Here are just a few of the benefits you can enjoy from exercising 30 minutes a day for at least four days a week:
Increased energy
Reduced stress
Reduced risk of premature death
Improved mental health
Reduced risk of heart disease
3 Easy Energy Boosters
Choosing healthy habits over unhealthy ones can help you decrease fatigue and better enjoy your life. Try some of these energy boosters:
Manage stress. Stress is a normal reaction to events that happen in everyone's life, but stress that goes on too long and is not managed properly is bad for your health. Some of the more common signs of stress include fatigue, depression, high blood pressure, trouble sleeping, and a loss or gain in weight. Some healthy habits that help many people manage stress include meditation, yoga, exercise, and social activities.
Get rid of high-sugar foods that overload your digestive system. You can do this by eliminating sugary foods like cookies, candies, and soft drinks. You can also substitute carbohydrates that cause a sugar rush with those that are absorbed more slowly. That means fewer potatoes, white rice, and white bread, and more whole grains, fruits, nuts, and green vegetables.
Schedule regular doctor visits. See your doctor for preventive health check-ups and don't ignore symptoms of fatigue that could be caused by a treatable or preventable disease.
Fatigue could be a warning of something that is making you sick or unhealthy — and ultimately affecting your longevity. In most cases, you can fight fatigue with a healthy diet, regular exercise, a good night's sleep, and stress reduction. But if these energy boosters don't help, talk to your doctor.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tending your self
Excerpt from I Timothy 4: 10 - 20
"Tend to yourself and to your teaching; continue in these things, for in doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers."
Reflection by Anthony B. Robinson
Out in my neck of the woods, we've enjoyed a completely unexpected playoff run by our heretofore hapless football team, the Seattle Seahawks. I've been interested in listening to new Seahawk coach, Pete Carroll.
When asked by media about the week’s upcoming opponent, Carroll typically says something like, "It's not about them, it's about us. It's about us playing our game. We have to stay focused on our own work. We just need to play the way we’re capable of playing and the rest will take care of itself. Our focus is really ourselves."
When Paul wrote to the young pastor, Timothy, he urged something similar. "Tend to yourself," Paul advised, "and to your teaching." Paul was definitely not urging that Timothy coddle himself or be self-absorbed. He was saying, "Mind your calling and work, do those faithfully and well. That's the first order of business."
In some ways, it’s odd advice, whether for a football team or for Christians and church leaders. We want to pay attention to others, whether to an opposing team or the many needs of other people. We imagine that being Christian means being concerned only about others and their needs. And at other times we pay far too much attention to how or what other people are doing, to their advancement or income, especially when they appear to us to be doing better than we are!
More important, as Paul tells Timothy, is to focus on your own particular work, your own particular calling. "Tend to yourself," be responsible for yourself and the service to which God has called you. Pastors, tend to your work as leaders and teachers of the faith. Do your own work and leave the rest to God.
Prayer
When I become scattered, preoccupied with others, call me back, dear Lord, to your calling for me, your purpose for me. Help me to "tend to myself" in the right way. Amen.
"Tend to yourself and to your teaching; continue in these things, for in doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers."
Reflection by Anthony B. Robinson
Out in my neck of the woods, we've enjoyed a completely unexpected playoff run by our heretofore hapless football team, the Seattle Seahawks. I've been interested in listening to new Seahawk coach, Pete Carroll.
When asked by media about the week’s upcoming opponent, Carroll typically says something like, "It's not about them, it's about us. It's about us playing our game. We have to stay focused on our own work. We just need to play the way we’re capable of playing and the rest will take care of itself. Our focus is really ourselves."
When Paul wrote to the young pastor, Timothy, he urged something similar. "Tend to yourself," Paul advised, "and to your teaching." Paul was definitely not urging that Timothy coddle himself or be self-absorbed. He was saying, "Mind your calling and work, do those faithfully and well. That's the first order of business."
In some ways, it’s odd advice, whether for a football team or for Christians and church leaders. We want to pay attention to others, whether to an opposing team or the many needs of other people. We imagine that being Christian means being concerned only about others and their needs. And at other times we pay far too much attention to how or what other people are doing, to their advancement or income, especially when they appear to us to be doing better than we are!
More important, as Paul tells Timothy, is to focus on your own particular work, your own particular calling. "Tend to yourself," be responsible for yourself and the service to which God has called you. Pastors, tend to your work as leaders and teachers of the faith. Do your own work and leave the rest to God.
Prayer
When I become scattered, preoccupied with others, call me back, dear Lord, to your calling for me, your purpose for me. Help me to "tend to myself" in the right way. Amen.
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